Critical Failure(Quest)
Location: Falconreach -> Right -> Cysero -> Quest! -> Critical Failure
Chain: Cysero's Quests
Previous: Back to the Past
Next: None
  • Release Date: March 26th, 2010
  • Objective: Cysero just wants to have fun!
  • Objective completed: It’s a good thing you won! Who knows WHAT would have happened if you’d lost?!
  • Scaled Yes/No: Yes


Critical Failure is a quest in which Cysero has decided that nothing could be better for the town than a life-size board game! However, several NPCs rolled critical failures and got trapped in some strange and dangerous situation. You have to rescue them, and avoid getting a critical failure yourself while rolling to advance. The first NPC you must rescue is Lim, who ended up stuck under a sneevil snack attack. Next you need to save Reens and Alina. Artix is trapped in a room full of undead, and you must get him out. Finally, Rolith is in the penalty cage, surrounded by a very large number of easy-to-defeat togs. Once you rescue Rolith, the ending cutscene plays and the quest is over.





<Character>: Hello? Where IS everyone?!

<Character>: Lim? Are you here? Hmm, he must be busy doing SCIENCE!

<Character>: Reens? Alac? Are you two out gathering alchemical ingredients? …I hope so

<Character>: Artix? Yoooohoooo! …HE isn’t here either?!

<Character>: Serenity! You’re here!

Serenity: I’m always here! We’re open for business all day, every day

<Character>: Do you know where everyone else has gone, though? I can’t find Rolith or Artix, Alac or Reens…Not even Lim!

Serenity: I heard a loud siren coming from Cysero’s store. You might want to check it out

<Character>: Cysero?

Cysero: It’s about time! For a minute there, I thought you wouldn’t come

<Character>: Cysero! Where is everybody! I’ve searched everywhere and-wait, what?

Cysero: I was thinking the townspeople of Falconreach haven’t been having much fun lately

Cysero: So I thought we should all play a game together!

Cysero: A life-sized board game. It’s perfect!

<Character>: So you know where everyone is?

Cysero: They’re all down in the basement of my tower, all in different rooms

Cysero: It seems the tower twists people’s luck, because so far everyone’s been rolling critical failures! Who knew?

Cysero: Alac and Reens, Lim, and Artix are scattered throughout the rooms

Cysero: I seem to have lost track of Rolith. Whoops!

<Character>: So I’ve got to find them?

Cysero: Exactly! But the only way to move forward is with these dice!

Cysero: I saved you a set just in case things got out of hand

<Character>: Have they?

Cysero: THAT depends on your definition of out of hand!

<Character>: That doesn’t sound good at all! What happens if they LOSE? I’ve GOT to find my friends!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: It's a good thing Cysero wouldn't hurt us, because that could have been BAD!

<Character>: Whooo! My luck is in! Chaaaaaarge!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: Rocks aren't going to come crashing down from the ceiling onto my head, are they?

<Character>: Cysero better not have magicked these dice! Grrr

<Character>: Who’s the Dicemaster? This <Class Title>! *fistpump*

Lim: Back! Back, I say! In the name of SCIENCE!

<Character>: Lim! Let me help you!

Lim: I shouldn’t have rolled that 1! I’ve been ambushed! No, amBOXED!

Lim: This is what comes of meddling in *scoff* magic

<Character>: At least you’re not boxed in anymore. That’s an improvement, right?

Lim: I wouldn’t have been buried if it weren’t for that insane mage and his logic-defying tower!

Lim: It’s statistically not possible for one party to roll so many critical failures!

<Character>: I wouldn’t be too sure of that! It seems you guys did *snicker*

Lim: I can’t stand being in this illogical place ANY MORE. I have GOT to get out!

Alina: Oh, <Character>! Hello!

Reens: Thank goodness you’re here!

Alina: Cysero said we were going to play a game! But …I didn’t expect THIS

Reens: He said the rewards would be loot, and they would be “phat”, whatever that means

Alina: He made it sound good, at any rate. But we’ve been trapped here for hours by these monsters after we each rolled a 1 on our dice! Reens: We could have gathered twice as many alchemical ingredients if we hadn’t played this game…

Alina: But now that YOU have come, <Character>, we’re free! Thank you so much!

<Character>: You’re very welcome, my alchemical allies! Now get out of this place before the game starts over!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: I should’ve put more points into my LUK skill…

Cysero: Peekaboo!

<Character>: I’ve got to find Artix and Rolith and get out of here!

Cysero: I have a cursed die and a blessed die. Which do you think I gave you?

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: Success! That’s the way, uh huh uh huh, I LIKE it!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: Random number generator, will you roll 100 for a Cyber-Snack?

Cysero: Just hanging around

<Character>: Cysero, you better not be meta-gaming!

Cysero: I feel like making a turkey sandwich. Want one?

<Character>: Artix! How long have you been in here slaying?

Artix: I rolled a critical failure on my first toss of the dice. So, about six hours, <Character>.

Artix: Thank you for your help on that last one, my friend

<Character>: I’ve seen everyone but Rolith. Do you know where he is?

Artix: HE rolled a critical failure on his second cast of the dice

Artix: He battled valiantly, but was captured. The togs took him to the Penalty Cage and have him surrounded

Artix: Check your backpack, I slipped some Holy Wasabi in it. You might find it useful!

Artix: If you will go see about helping him, I will get everyone else out of here! Keep going, you’re just about to win!

<Character>: Let’s do this. Good luck!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: Good deeds must be rewarded by high dice rolls! Whoooo!

Stat Roll: 20 or higher to pass

<Character>: I can’t fail, I’ve got to save Rolith!

<Character>: Next stop, Penalty Cage and Rolith!

Captain Rolith: <Character>! Get me out of here!

Captain Rolith: Can’t sleep, togs will eat me!

<Character>: I’ve got this Holy Wasabi from Artix. If I apply it to the bars just… like… this…




Cysero: Great game! So. We’ll play again this time next week, right?

Alina: Err…Sorry Cysero. I have some very important alchemical… things to do. I’ve, er, gotta re-draw my transmutation circles. Yeah.

Lim: I’ve been neglecting my SCIENCE! So…maybe when the next eclipse of the sun comes around. Maybe

Artix: Thank you, my friend, but I must decline as well. I’ve got to bone up on the latest undead-slaying methods

Reens: I’ve…um…got to help Alina. She’s teaching me some new things. And I’ve got to show her my new garden. Of growing things. Sorry!

<Character>: It would be a VERY boring game with one Cysero and one <Character>. But I had…fun! That’s the word I want!

<Character>: Next time I’m bringing my OWN dice, though